YOU WOULD NEVER GUESS WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO MY DADDY!

This is his story:

It happened this morning. I got the hoover out to do some cleaning. For once the sun is shining and it is a bit warmish, so I thought I would open the door wide and get some air circulating around here.

THEN, he just wandered in, no hallo, nothing.... and THEN started to help himself to my food leftovers! I was so shocked.

I carefully walked out onto the balcony (I didn’t want a confrontation in case of trouble) but I managed to get the camera and take a couple of pics when he wasn’t looking.

Anyway, after about 15 minutes he buggered off, completely ignoring me.

MUMMY'S STUDENTS!

I think I've told you that my Mummy owns a nutrition college; that's why she comes home all stressed out and sends me into my 'naughty corner' for every minor offense (minor by my standards, anyway).

I think I now know why she is so stressed out ..... just have a look at this bunch of unruly students.... Wouldn't you be stressed out?

WARNING TO ALL DOG OWNERS!!

My uncle Ali has sent me this - frightening....

The State Highway Patrol in conjunction with the FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners to keep their dogs indoors until further notice. Dogs are being picked off one at a time on an almost continual basis throughout the city.

They are falling in great numbers. Police in the city advise all dog owners not to walk their dogs - KEEP THEM INDOORS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!

I better stick close to my Mummy!

Happy new year everybody!

I hope you had a lovely Xmas break. I had the most wonderful time Auntie Pamela's in Marble Arch. As always, she has spoiled me rotten, took me to parties, bought me lots of 'prezzies' (toys and clothes) and let me sleep on her bed (come to think of it, she had no choice.....)

I have not been in touch as I've been extremely busy helping my Mummy with her college. My mummy has just launched a blog for her students and other members - http://bcnh.blogspot.com

You can have a look at it if you wish. It has lots of interesting information (some light-hearted and even suitable for you doggy heads, but most of it is intended for humans).

Apart from helping my Mummy and sleeping in the 'naughty corner' (I've been barking at the squirrels again), I have not done anything exciting this year. Well, it early days yet and God knows what the future may bring....

Mummy and Daddy are off to Sicily this Easter, so I hope Auntie Pamela will have me again. If not, I don't know what I am going to do.... I don't want to go into a kennel ..... My friend Fritz (photo above) tells me they are pretty boring. I hope my Auntie Pamela reads this and takes pity on me.

Anyway, I must keep my chin up and maybe take some vitamin D. Mummy says it is good for depression.

Speak soon!

I am going to be a movie star!

I’ve been inspired to become a movie on the YouTube, after I saw this:-

Can you believe this wormy and flee-infested girl has already had over 4600 hits? And she is not even as pretty as me!

I am going to get Mummy and Daddy to make a movie of me and my best friend Teddy. So stay tuned!

Woof-woof! Pumps out!

Seasons greetings to all of you and a happy new year!

I don’t know about you, but I will be spending my holiday with my favourite (and the best) Auntie Pamela in Marble Arch. While mummy and daddy are visiting lions in Africa (I hope they don’t get eaten by them), I will be spoilt rotten in Auntie Pamela’s apartment. And she may even let me sleep on her bed, something my mummy does not allow at home.

So best wishes to you all and do not overdo it when it comes to Xmas pudding.

Happy New Year!

How to solve a problem

Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.

My uncle Ali often sends me funny photos with comments. This is yet another one. I hope you find it funny as much as I do. I hope my feline friend Snowy doesn't see it....

Apparently, we get SAD as well!

This is what I've found on one of the doggy websites.

SAD' Threatens to Take Over Pet Population [30/10/2007]

A recent study by the PDSA found that as the days get shorter pets could be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). The symptoms of the disorder include eating more, sleeping longer and being less active.

The results of the study found that two in five dog owners felt their dog became less active over the winter months whilst one in three cat owners felt their pet became “sadder” and less interested in playing.

Senior Veterinary Surgeon, Elaine Pendlebury commented “The cause of SAD in people is thought to be linked to the levels of melatonin in the body. The production of this hormone is inhibited when light hits the eye's retina. Therefore more melatonin is produced when it is dark, which is why it is also called 'the hormone of darkness'. When this hormone is released into the bloodstream it is thought to make us drowsy and a little down in the dumps.”

She added: "Of course, the change in our pet's mood may be simply due to the cold weather and fewer opportunities to stretch their legs outside, but diet and exercise can play a big part in perking up your pet. Even if you can't go out, there are various indoor games that you can play with your pet.

Instructions for cleaning the toilet!

This is what my uncle Ali has emailed to me. I hope it does not offend anybody....

1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.

2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.

3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid.

4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying himself.

5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the “Power-wash” pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle.

6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door.

7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed at which he will be moving from the toilet to the front door.

8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.

With best wishes,

The Dog

And here is the photograph of one wet moggy:

I am going to be wealthy!

Dear One (Being A Foreigner) , I am Mr.DAVID MIKE, A staff of one of the commercial bank in COTE D'IVOIRE. I am pleased to get across to you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal, though I don't know you neither have I seen you before but my confidence was reposed on you. A contract file worth ( US$10.350.000) Dollars with the name has been noticed lying waste in our contract and account department. As one of our international remittance director, I am obliged to notify you, Now (being a foreigner) I want this money to be paid into your account for us to share 50/50 all i need from you is your honesty and you will promise me that you will not run away with this money.Again i want to let you know that this fortune was only disclosed to you so i demand you keep it as a secret for the sucessful conclusion of it. Upon the receipt of this mail please send me your full names, telephone/fax number, and email address. Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated. I require you to treat this letter with the utmost urgency. Best Regards

Mr DAVID MIKE.

And this is my reply,

Dear Mr David Mike,

I am so excited about getting all this money. I've just ordered 2 tonnes of the best beef bones from the organic butcher. I am also looking into buying a Welsh sheep farm, so I can chase sheep all day long and keep myself amused. I asked my Mummy to order me a posh new bed, diamond collar and a diamond studded leash from Cartier's, so I am going to be the coolest pooch on the block. Thank you again for sending me this Pee-mail.

Here are my details:-

Pumpkin Greens

Telephone: +44 (0) 0207 555 6666

Email:pumpkin@bcnh.co.uk

And he replied......

Dear Pumpkin

I hope this mail meets you well. I want to thank you for your prompt reply to my email. It is true that we do not know each other, I found myself in this opportunity and with my position I had no option than to give out this blind trust and I appreciate confiding in you for this business that will profit us both. As you said that you have being reiceving this types of email.please i am joking with you or liein.

I want you to know that I did not just wake up and decided to do this deal, I did my proper home work before contacting you. I work with this bank here in Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire, I am presently the director of Audit & Records of my bank. I have worked with this bank for more than 10yrs now and I want to assure you that if I am not sure that this transfer will work, I would not have thought of doing it.

I want to tell you now that this transfer will be done under the legitimate BTO of my country, what I want from you is your TRUST & HONESTY. You will have to play a very big role for us to actualise this transaction that is why I am offering you a 50:50 sharing ratio. All I want is for you to promise to be steadfast all through. After the transfer, you will help me open an account in your country where you will lodge my own part of the money pending my arrival. The money is held in a coded suspence account and I have all the access informtion which I will give to you thereafter. When the money will be transferred, it will be labelled as inheritance son there will not be any problem with your government authorities, all we needed now is LAWYER who can help us and get the Neccessary Documents that will enable our bank to transfer the fund nothing more.

this transaction with uttermost secrecy.

Thank you very much as for your urgent respond.Try send your information to me so that i can send you the application that you will send to the Bank as the next of kin .With all the documents i have the money will be transfer to your acconut.but do not make away with my onw shar.

YOU CAN CALL ME FOR MORE INFORMATION +225,09030476

I WAIT FOR YOUR RESPONSE

DAVID MIKE

Baa - baa white sheep

My all time favourite bone comes from a leg of lamb. When I go on holiday to Wales I see hundreds of juicy legs wandering the hills. I don’t understand why my Mummy has to get them from the butcher? I am not allowed in his shop in case I eat his sausages & chops ..... Why don’t we just get them for free?

I like to hunt sheep because they are the only things that run away from me. I can get quite close to them, because I look like a baby lamb myself. They come right up to me and say ‘baa – baaa’, and then I start my hunting song - "woofy woof", and they all run away. I run after them, but they run really fast, and I, because I am so small, have problems getting through the thick heather, and before I know it, I am lost!

That is when I start to panic. I have heard that farmers shoot cheeky little dogs like me, for chasing their sheep! But not to worry. I soon hear my Mummy screaming my name and calling me names like 'stupid imbecile' and I have to go on the leash till we get home.

At dinner time I go berserk from all the lovely smells coming from the kitchen. I beg and whine, but I get thrown outside for my pains and told to be patient! Not my favourite pastime! I''d rather sit in a naughty corner for 10 minutes. I get so upset that I can’t even concentrate on my favourite biscuits!

Anyway, after what seems to be ages and ages, I finally get my bone. But I don’t want to eat it outside; it is much nicer and cleaner to chew it on the carpet. But Mummy won’t let me inside and Daddy laughs, and takes a photo of poor me looking through the door with the bone in my mouth.

It’s a hard dogs life!

Why do humans think that we don’t laugh?

Is it because of the famous Greek philosopher, Aristotle, who had said in 4th century BC that only human animals can laugh?

Although Aristotle was a great philosopher and scientist of his era, he was clearly wrong on this subject.

Scientists have now confirmed that we, pooches, do laugh, although not in the same way as the humans do. My mummy and daddy always knew that I could laugh. I find it very funny when my mum loses a cribbige game and my dad laughs his head off (and me with him). My mummy wants to take tap-dancing lessons (God helps us) but daddy will not let her do it until she manages to beat him in cribbage (she is 26 games behind right now). Back to serious stuff. Apparently, our laugh sounds similar to a normal pant. When scientists played the recorded ‘dog-laugh’ vocalization to 120 dogs in a shelter setting, they’ve found that it promoted pro-social behavior, increased tail wagging and it decreased stress levels. So, my doggy friends, keep laughing!!!